"I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There's trees in the desert since you moved out, and I don't sleep on a bed of bones."

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penis-hilton:

EVERYTIME I SEE THIS POST I’M AFRAID TO SCROLL TO THE END OF IT BECAUSE I ALWAYS THINK BETTY WHITE HAS DIED

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draelogor:

darkchocolateandtea:

fuckingconversations:

teamfreekickass:

spiffypop:

thebraveandmischievous:

housetohalf:

mysnarkasm:

When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.

She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.

She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.

Girl is 50 years old.

FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.

fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this. 

You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half. 

Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium. 

This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks. 

Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS. 

she kicks ass like a coursing river

with all the force of a great typhoon

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brushitofff:

i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know

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Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.

“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”

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Anonymous: How do you make a girl climax?

this--too--shall--pass:

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mayakern:

seasonal fashion according to me

god i hate summer

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theblindniggasamurai:

lisamunster:

Lmao

The illest thing ive ever seen

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keatonstrombergs:

the fbi will never catch me

image

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Sober vs. drunk Sherlock

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asexualityresources:

Page from “Taking The Cake” zine by Maisha

Order the full zine here.

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captainlitebrite:

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virguin:

how can i be ready for future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning

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licensetocannibalize:

hannibal gets so offended of being accused of things he actually did